A Process for Changing Habits and Patterns

Updated: Jan 10, 2021

Most of my life, I have had a gift with adapting new routines and changing habits. I never really understood why until I dealt with something that it felt like I couldn't change.

However, through reflection and experimentation, I have come to understand how my own psyche works, and I am offering my process with you as I realize the key to why I have been able to change so much is that I never judged where I was at in the first place.

It's really simple:


So we will start with the first step:


Write these down in your journal:

  1. DEFINE the change you want to make.

  2. WHY are you trying to change it?

  3. HOW do you want to feel from the change?

  4. WHAT fears are holding you back?

Read through what you wrote. What language are you using? Is it negative? Is there judgement?


Rewrite it. Try to stick with observations that are not based on your own personal judgments, and change your vocabulary to a present-tense statement that sounds more like an affirmation.

For example, here is one on trying to eat more plant-based:

  1. I want to eat more plant-based.

  2. I think that eating meat is unhealthy and harmful.

  3. I want to feel in control, but I am so tempted.

  4. I am afraid that I won't get enough nutrients.

When I rewrite, it would look something like this:

1. I eat plant-based.

Your definition is now a present-tense affirmation.

2. It is healthier and less harmful for me to eat plant-based.

I am not rejecting other ways of being, especially my current way of being. I simply think that I can make a better choice for myself.

3. I feel like I am making the best decision I can right now.

Your feeling is now a simple present tense affirmation that is easy to connect with. Turning it into a statement of recognizing a feeling you already have a connection with is key.

4. I will do research to understand more. Other people have done this. I can too.

Fear is usually simply out of the unknown and not understanding. The more you educate yourself and have faith and hope, you will be able to disarm your fears.

Once you have this level of understanding, you can take it a step further and acknowledge where you are currently at. I have a tendency of being critical of myself, and this is where I found my own personal road blocks. This was the step that was key to my own growth. Whenever I am having trouble changing something, it is because I am rejecting it in some way: what we resist persists.


It is learning to LOVE and ACCEPT exactly where you are through compassion and understanding. It is learning to embrace where you are currently at with the intention of getting better.

What helps you love and accept? For me it is focusing on the positives. It is even more helpful if those positives are still apart of your vision for the future.

Write down the positives of where you are at: where focus goes energy flows.

Sticking with this idea of eating less meat.

I enjoy my food. Eating meat is not bad. I simply choose differently. If I want to eat meat again, it is not a bad thing. I am open to that future, but right now I choose differently. I trust that I will always honor my beliefs and have compassion for the moments that are difficult. I am grateful to have a choice. I will simply follow my beliefs of how to be better and grow with them.


There is no better or worse, but just different ways of being and different understandings. Once you can see that, you will stop rejecting parts of yourself and start owning what you want to become. You will trust the process and surrender to love.

It's all about being present. Remembering to LET GO of who you were, and forget who you want to be because YOU ARE WHO YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT NOW. You don't have control of the future, and things are constantly changing. You are free to change too. Simply know your beliefs and values and try your best to stick to them knowing you are never lacking, and it is all a process. <3


Recognize and honor the changes you have made. You have come a long way! Simply in learning and understanding you have come up with a new idea of how to be. The simplicity in the deeper level of awareness you have reached IS change. You are changing. It is all a process. Give yourself some credit, and don't give up. You are divinely guided and loved.

I believe this process can help people make any change in their life. Let me know what you think or if you have anything to add! I would especially LOVE to hear any success stories. We are all making this world a better place together by simply becoming a better person in our own eyes.


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