Updated: Jan 9
When I think of red flags, I immediately associate it with dating, but there are warning signals in all areas life. Whether it be your love life, friendships, jobs, or even the food you’re eating.
After ending a very bad relationship a couple of years ago, I realized that there were red flags the whole way through. I’ve also come to the understanding that I cannot take the red flags from one relationship and pull them onto the next. Maybe you are a person that dates the same kind of people; in that case, your repeated red flags may be hints!
There are no set red flags that will help you avoid pain. There is just you and your body, and whether you listen to what is true for you.
It’s your journey and what is true for you may not be true for other people. It’s important to take time to listen. Something in your life is telling you that you need to address an issue that is either internal or external.
It’s easy to understand if you relate it to eating food. Some foods your body does well with, while other foods your body does not... Sometimes we have been abusing our bodies and are not able to recognize our sensitivities. Often if we take a period of time to “cleanse” our body, we are then able to reset our sensitivities and consciously be in touch to what works well for our body.
There aren’t “bad” foods or “good” foods. There’s moderation and how your body reacts specifically. There are probably foods that your body doesn’t like that are listed as “healthy”. Just listen to what your body is saying and make the changes necessary to do what’s best for you.
The same goes for relationships. You may be used to being treated a certain way. There are clear signs from the outside that it isn’t healthy, but you tolerate it because you’re used to tolerating it. You’re not happy, and you don’t know why. Perhaps if you gave yourself a “cleanse” or a bit of time where you only focus on your relationship with yourself and cultivating self-love, you would be able to recognize the red flags in relationships with other people.
Warnings aren’t an end all, be all. They are simply areas that you need to address. A person may not be aware that they are doing anything that affects you, and you need to address it for their growth and your health. You need to recognize that if you do not address the issue in some way; you put your health and well-being at risk.
With relationships, a trigger can be something as simple as catching someone in a white lie but being very bothered by it. It could even be a mannerism that really bothers you.
These warnings can be calling attention to things that are going on outside of you or within you. By addressing them, you help build a stronger relationship with yourself and the other person. Perhaps you have an egotistical issue that is not allowing you to get close to anyone. Or maybe light is being shed on your “lovers” true nature. It is most likely something within you that needs to come to light.
Without addressing it, you limit yourself. You deserve to be happy and free, and so does everyone else. Give yourself that opportunity, and you may inspire someone else to grow.